Back-to-School

Where do I even start on the subject of "school"? Is it a place? Is it an action? If we are going "back" to school, I assume school is something we either leave or stop for a period of time. I've heard myself say more than once that everything we do is school, so I'm not sure my heading is very descriptive of anything other than my intention of writing about education tonight.

I guess I should just frame my thoughts in the context of my job as a mother. I confess I'm rather a failure at things like teaching my kids to tie their shoes or sleep in their own beds. When our older children were small, I quickly realized that running my household around someone else's schedule for things like bi-monthly doctor visits or regular playdates was more than I was prepared to stress over. In fact, Jared wore coordinating, but not matching, socks for the first year of his life (until we just started buying white ones) because it was just faster to grab two that looked good than search for the match that was hiding in the laundry somewhere. I tried to distinguish between those things that were essential, and those things I felt others were expecting of me just because that's how they are normally done.

When Jared showed an affinity for early mornings, we bought him a clock so he could know when it was okay to wake us. When he showed an interest in reading, I looked at programs to teach him to read. This was two years sooner than he would have qualified for any kindergarten program, but I was a mother and my job was to meet his needs, not teach him to wait until someone else decided he fit into their program. It provided me with a project, and in the process I learned some things that have made a huge difference in my life. Our introduction to Home Schooling came in the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". I won't say that every lesson went according to the script, but in the process of following the instructions of someone who knew more about teaching reading than I did, I found a real sense of accomplishment in spending 20-30 minutes each day sitting next to my son. At times it felt like we were going nowhere. Then I would flip the pages of the book back to where we had been just a week or two earlier and the progress seemed monumental. I realized that consistency was more important than feeling productive every time we sat down. He finished the 100 lessons before his 4th birthday, and after that, he had a key to knowledge that could never be taken away, and I felt like I had given him a gift that was priceless. Once he could read well enough on his own, I attempted piano lessons, then math. We never started a new topic until he was comfortable enough with the last one that he wouldn't be overwhelmed.

When Eric was 3, he wanted to start reading like Jared. So, I sat him down, opened the same book, and found that my second son had a totally different learning style. Where Jared enjoyed learning new letters and seemed to retain everything, Eric needed more review. Eric however, loved the writing exercises, which Jared avoided as much as possible. Eric saw "b", "d", and "p" as the same letter (rotated or flipped) which Jared never seemed to confuse. When the book finished, we continued to read together until something seemed to click and he was comfortable reading on his own. As a mother, I was so grateful to see what different approaches they took to learning, so that I could learn to understand each of them better and not get caught up in direct comparisons. I wondered if Eric saw the world as an artist, I still wonder that. He seems to learn by observation and drawing his own conclusions more than taking information that is fed to him. Will he discover new truths by observing the world around him or combining knowledge in ways others haven't yet thought of? I don't know, but I enjoy the process of watching him learn, always wondering where his path will lead.

For various and differing reasons, public school didn't feel like the right option when my boys were old enough to be enrolled. At the same time, we were introduced to a wonderful family who had been home schooling for several years. We followed our system and they followed theirs, but that friendship was a gift to me at a time when I felt self-conscious making different choices from the other parents I knew. Since then, we have never moved to a new area without soon finding ourselves in the company of other home school families. My kids don't feel left out from the school crowd because there are other kids at church who don't go to the local school either.

So why after all these years would my boys attend public school? Mostly for the same reason they weren't before -- it feels like the right thing to do. For the last 10 years I have been using my own judgment and the input of my kids to determine what they would learn and where and how we would learn it. Textbooks, videos, online classes, classic books. Their interests right now are singing and cooking. Eric wants to be a chef, and the class at school gives him opportunity to cook several times a week without being interrupted by siblings and a distracted mom. Jared adores singing, and the choir program at the high school is top-notch. Dad drives to school everyday for work, and they still have plenty of time between classes to work on the subjects assigned by me, without getting caught up in the non-academic distractions that are sometimes detrimental at that time of life. I want them to be productive, but still have time to enjoy being part of our family when they aren't at school. They can enjoy learning without the extra distraction of grades and keeping pace with the rest of a class, taking as much or as little time as necessary to really learn what they are studying.

As for the rest of the family, the part-time absence of the older boys means that Samuel and Susannah have the opportunity to be the oldest ones at home during the day. Jared and Eric have been the trailblazers as I experiment with education at home. Now they are prepared to learn from other mentors and my focus is shifting to those who have played the "middle child" role, finding their own place between the big kids and the toddlers who want my constant attention. They will find themselves with more privileges, but also more attention and the expectation that they will complete their chores and schoolwork without excuses. We discuss together what they will be learning each year and set schedules so there is no confusion about what is expected. If they show me they have completed their assignments and chores, their time is their own. However, if they get sidetracked, there is no telling what I might find for them to do. One of my goals (as a mother) is for them to learn to use their time effectively without being watched constantly.

My short-term goal with the younger children this year is to get to a point within the next 2 months that they know what they are doing each day and can help each other enough so that the introduction of a new baby won't upset the balance of the household. They already help each other with chores and meals. I hope their learning is at a point that they don't need mom looking over their shoulder to stay on task. Jesse has been working all summer on his "chores" and finally goes to someone else if I am not immediately available. I hope to spend enough time with Emery and Susannah that they know they have a good relationship with me and feel confident in their abilities to follow through on their chores without being reminded so their can have the same privileges of free time that their older brothers take advantage of.

As for me, the decision to homeschool has been one of the best things I have done. I know my children and have good relationships with all of them. I am excited to watch their talents unfold, and I have been challenged to study and learn to continue providing learning opportunities for them. I have a lot of excitement and faith about the future. I have seen the hand of God in the lives of my children, and I know that they are being prepared in some way for a future I can't quite understand from the viewpoint of today. I am a better person for the time we spend together, and I can't think of any group of people who would be more patient and forgiving as I try to be the kind of person I would ideally like to be.