Where are you going?

Alice: Which way ought I to go from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where, as long as I get somewhere.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough!

For the past couple weeks I have been trying so sort my thoughts about the people, books, and experiences that have guided me to where I currently find myself in life. In the process of reading a new book "The Student Whisperer", I was challenged to stop and consider the people and experiences who have inspired me to be my better self and to succeed in my personal life mission.

Maybe part of what I am looking for is what Alice sought in Wonderland. She knew she wanted to arrive somewhere, but had no experience of her own to influence her choice of destination. It has been a gradual process of many years for me to realize that I might have a personal mission that is meaningful and unique to myself. I could see very early in the lives of each of my children that they were dynamic, talented individuals with a purpose in life. I knew as a mother I needed to prepare them to take charge of whatever their missions might be, so I have tried to help them develop personal habits that will form a solid core of faith and virtue as well as education. In the meantime, I have often wondered how different my life would have been had I understood for myself the vision I can see so clearly for them.

Maybe not all missions can be set out upon intentionally. What I mean is, I have known so many wonderful women who truly desired to be mothers. It seemed to be born into them to care for dolls, plan for a future wedding, and think about surrounding themselves with lots of little children to feed, clothe and nurture. However, their many of these same women were limited by no opportunity for marriage, or personal circumstances which made them unable to have the family they had dreamed of. On the other hand, I never saw myself as the mother of a large family. Ask my mother how many times I questioned her own judgment in this matter. I was happy to head off to college, not looking back. I picked my own classes, roommates, activities, with no consideration other than what my friends were doing and whether I would graduate before my scholarship ran out. I wasn't particularly looking for a husband when I returned from a missionary opportunity in Korea. In fact, I thought it would take awhile for me to find anyone I could just be myself with, and even longer to be married. However, less than a year after returning to the US, I was married, back in graduate school, and on the steepest learning curve for personal growth I had ever experienced.

Now, after almost 15 years, I am beginning to think that I have not only found my mission, but am, in fact, smack in the middle of it, preparing children for their own greatness. I am a more selfless person than I used to be, and have a much better recognition of my faults. And I can honestly say, that marriage and motherhood has done more than anything else in my life to make me a better person, and that is one mission I have always known was mine.