Broken Hearts

There was a time in my life when I felt like I had hit bottom...then kept falling.  Looking back now, I wonder how much of that feeling was a result of sleepless nights, hormones, isolation from friends and family, or other perfectly normal parts of life breaking through my defenses.  Whatever it was, I remember clearly praying through my tears that God would show mercy and heal my broken heart. My remedy was to build walls to protect my heart from hurting. However, the thought clearly came to my mind that God requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit as the price for my salvation.  That was sufficient explanation for me as to why bad things were happening when I was trying so hard to be a good person.

In the many years that have elapsed since that experience, the idea that God loves me enough to let my heart be broken so that I can be with Him again has stayed with me. 

Several years ago I heard of a song "Blessings" by Laura Story that has the same theme:

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

I was thinking this morning about my workshop and how science describes what has typically been thought of as spiritual phenomenon (such as forgiveness, or a mighty change of heart/ being born again).  The lessons I have put together at this point are not framed through scripture and the words of recognized spiritual leaders, yet they represent truths I have been led to through applying faith in dealing with my own personal challenges. The more I study trauma and painful experiences, the more I see how the simple things, like quiet time to meditate, hold a key for healing and finding peace in life.  As this truth is shown to me over and over, I find myself more easily being able to give thanks for ALL THINGS, including broken hearts. While I still look forward to the day that all broken hearts will be made whole again.